Git'n - Er - Done

Git-er-done...that saying's been around a while, right? I remember when my little girl heard it - she must've been about four - and said "ditter dun? what's that mean?"

But I'm a redneck at heart...and I appreciate the phrase for its serious meaning. Depending on how you look at things, it either means "hurry up so we can head out, pop open a cold one and dunk some worms at the lake," or "make serious progress on that big to-do list." Usually a to-do list that's been settin' a while.

Like mine.

Holidays always throw me for a loop, schedule- and organization-wise. Especially this year, when I feel like I'm climbing out of a deep, slippery abyss, dealing with my mom's death. It's been a weird month, trying to grieve and get my emotions pointed the right way (and help the husband and kids do the same) while simultaneously celebrating Christmas. Talk about compartmentalizing! Isn't that an amazing thing, our ability to separate our feelings and take them one at a time? To be able to feel blinding grief and desolation one moment, and joyous, bubbly, giggly humor the next?

At least I've been spared the guilt. I'm tired of guilt. It wears me out, and it's so pointless. I did everything I could possibly do, I am a good person, none of this is my fault and it's OK to move on. Wow, that's healthy! So unlike me!

But now that I'm returning to the real world and my real life, I have a to-do list that is overwhelming. I just sat and typed it out, everything I could think of in every area of my life, and it runs three pages. Fortunately these are not all things that need to be done in one day. Soon, though. I have to prioritize, but most of all, I have to DO it. Not just prepare to think about planning to do it.

My mom was a professional procrastinator. I mean, she was really, really good at it. Every time I would come over to help her out, to pack up and move her to the condo from the house in which I grew up, she'd say this: "You look so tired, and that's such a big job. Why not just sit down a while and chat? You can do it another day." But "another day" would be just the same...and it went on and on...fortunately I am more of a Git-Er-Done person. Or at least I'm impatient.

Today I managed to do four main things. I got caught up on our laundry and even put it away. I put away all of the Christmas decorations, and I mailed my college transcript to WSU to complete my application. And I submitted my application for financial aid online (FAFSA).

See, it's real...I will be going to college. Yes, I mean it. I am afraid that I won't, though. I am afraid that I'll get sidetracked, as I always have in the past. I'll feel guilty about spending the money, or my business will start to take off and I'll think I don't really need it, or...who knows. So I have been telling everyone who will listen that I am doing it, because the more people I tell, the more embarrassed I'd be if I decided not to go.

It's kind of embarrassing on its own, though. A few days ago I was chatting with a friend of ours, a 5th grade teacher who has a Masters' Degree in education, minor in English Literature. She was surprised; she had no idea that I'd never finished that B.A. But a college education isn't the only measure of a person's ability, experience, or depth. I may have taken my last college class nearly 20 years ago, but I never stopped learning. What is college, after all, besides the experience of cracking open textbooks and absorbing the material therein? Of practicing the skills you need to acquire and sharpen? I've done that. The only thing missing is feedback, and I got that when clients paid me to do the work.

Still, I think I'll stand up a little straighter and smile a little brighter, at least in a business scenario, with that degree. It's time to Git-Er-Done! But before I do...yikes, there's a mountain of other stuff to finish first!